Shift
by misuteri-satose
Summary: Now, seeing him before me, grimacing while trying to smile, the crack in my resolve grew. It's edges spread and branched out, slowly for a moment, creating a web of delicate fractures. Soon enough, great chunks of certainty burst away. Jacob. My Jacob.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first Twilight story, but not my first fanfic. I've been writing longer than (according to IMDB) Taylor Lautner has been acting. Of course, back then it was all about my Mary-Sue's love for Ronald Weasley, but we can just pretend that never happened. I hope the story's not a disappointment and **_**somebody**_** enjoys it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.**

**This is all Bella's POV, unless I state otherwise at the beginning of a chapter.**

**I don't own these characters, just the strange situations I put them in.**

Life is full of choices.

Should I go to college or start a career? Should I pursue what I love or what's practical? Should I have my eggs scrambled or fried?

Alright, so some of the choices are mundane; things that will never _really _affect our lives. But then again... Sometimes life throws choices at us that leave us torn, reeling from the injustice of reality, feeling broken to our very core. Those choices come once in a lifetime, but they're so vital, so central to our being and so entangled in our very fate, that there is no way to come out of them unscathed, whether we've made the "right" choice or not. Once in a lifetime...

Well, for most people.

I, unfortunately, am not "most people". At least, I'm not now. Maybe once upon a time I could have been, but then a choice I made, one I thought I made not for myself but for the happiness of my mother, threw me into a new city- a new _world. _I had known perfect bliss, I had known deepest despair, and I had come out the other side sure of myself and my path.

Until that day. The day I saw him there, lying broken and nearer to death than he had any right to be. Jacob, my personal sun, had nearly died in an insane act of protection for me. It was my fault he was here in his bed, not wrapped in blankets but bandages... not sleeping, but suffering. And I felt a pull to make a decision which I'd thought I'd already made.

I had been so utterly sure of myself until that moment. I loved Edward more, I _knew_ it. I knew it to the very core of my being. No matter where his involvement in my life took me, whether it be a moment of bliss while I lay in his cold arms or to the very brink of death itself, I seemed to gravitate towards him unconsciously.

But it appeared his absence, which now seemed a lifetime ago, had forged a crack in my resolve. It was a hairline crack at best, one that I hadn't even noticed myself until now, but by leaving me broken and empty, he had let someone else take a space in my ruined heart. I'd already admitted that I loved Jacob, but I loved Edward more... Or so I'd thought.

Now, seeing Jacob before me, grimacing while trying to smile (for me, always for me, and my peace of mind), the crack grew. It's edges spread and branched out, slowly for a moment, creating a web of delicate fractures. Soon enough, great chunks of certainty burst away like a dam that's finally caved to the pressure of an oncoming flood. My heart fluttered, my pulse raced, and my lungs seemed to tighten with the pressure of just how very much I loved the werewolf in front of me. Jacob. My Jacob.

"It's really not that bad," he said, trying to take on his normal joking tone but failing to hide his discomfort.

When I continued to silently stare at him, Jacob first merely raised an eyebrow, then slowly began to show his frustration. "Earth to Bella! It's a little late to decide werewolves are too weird for you, you know." He gave me a half-hearted glare before I finally shook myself out of my reverie.

"It's not that," I said, my voice surprising me by sounding somewhat breathless. "I... I think something changed."

Jake stared at me, his eyes wide and incredulous. "What changed?" he asked, confusion clear in his voice. If only he knew that the one thing he'd been hoping I'd say for so long was on the tip of my tongue... but I was about to disappoint him yet again.

_Why? _the impatient voice of my conscience asked.

I knew why, it was obvious. I loved Edward more. Edward was my life now, my heart, my soul, and my forever, as much as I was his. Right?

_Obviously not, _the same annoying internal voice scoffed.

Why couldn't it be Jacob? Why couldn't it be the dark-haired, ridiculously tall, goofy (but charming) boy in front of me? Why couldn't it be him that I loved, that I gave my forever to? What did I owe Edward, who left me damaged beyond repair?

_Not beyond repair_, the voice reminded me.

No, not beyond repair. Jacob had seen to that. When Edward broke me, shattered my heart and my soul, Jacob had gathered the pieces and slowly put them back together, one piece at a time. Edward was timeless romance and a future without change, while Jacob was warmth, laughter, and spontaneity. Edward was broken promises and apologies, while Jacob was the epitome of loyalty and honesty. Suddenly I saw two paths in front of me.

One with Edward, an eternal life of perfection. An endless night full of love of course, but also riddled with what would surely be tortuous thirst, endless moving on from "home" to "home", always grasping at the remnants of my humanity, and sometimes failing. Failure meant death, not to me, but any human unlucky enough to cross my path at the wrong time.

The other with Jacob... This one would hold love as well, but a different love. Less perfection and more struggles, but never with my own humanity because I wouldn't have to change for him. No endless night that made all of time bleed together into one infinite day, but moments of happiness and sadness and everything in between, all forming an imperfect but fulfilling life. I could see us together, some day getting married, some day having children, and... eventually growing old together. It wasn't such a scary idea, not in this context. Not even marriage sounded as scary with Jake, because I knew it wasn't something to be rushed, but something to work towards together, through the good and the bad. It wouldn't be a grudging compromise, it would be welcome because it would come only when we were ready.

Edward was safe because a future with him was predictable. Marriage, my change to be part of his family, and then forever. Jacob was the opposite. Choosing him would mean choosing humanity, and the spectrum of experiences it included, ever-changing and uncertain.

I vaguely wondered when becoming a vampire had become the "safe" route.

"Bells, you're seriously scaring me here," Jacob said, his voice betraying the real worry beneath his joking demeanor.

"I'm sorry, Jake," I said, shaking my head to clear it of all these stray thoughts. I didn't know what had come over me, but I needed to think things through. I always hated making decisions because I couldn't help but painstakingly go over every single detail, every thing that could go wrong and whether or not they outweighed the things that went right.

_But isn't that what I just did? And which side came out on top?_

The rest of the visit went pleasantly enough, as pleasant as visiting a horribly injured best friend (_potential soul mate, _my conscience corrected) could be. Of course, by the end, I felt like I'd only made things worse. I'd yet again assured Jacob that he wasn't the one I wanted, wasn't the one I was going to choose. I wasn't sure if he could tell, but I was trying to convince myself as much as him. He had tried to smile as he said goodbye, but I could practically see his heart breaking yet again.

As I walked away, I paused in the doorway. "Jake?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yeah?" he asked, his voice wavering slightly, and not from the pain of his injuries.

"Don't... don't run off. Don't leave me. Please. I just... I need a little time, but... Just stick around, okay?" I pleaded. His eyes widened, showing me that I had guessed at his plan, but that shock faded into confusion tinged with hope.

"Um, okay? What am I waiting for?" he asked, not daring to believe that the possibility I'd just so vehemently argued as futile was still a possibility at all.

"Me. Just me," I said, my voice fading into an unsure mutter as I turned and left.

That night, I lay in bed with Edward, a blanket wedged between us to protect me from the chill as he held me in his ice cold arms. A week ago- no, not even that, a _day _ago, this would have been pure happiness to me, unquestionably. After my startling revelation, after the floodgate of my resolve had broken with a resounding and earth shattering crack, I felt restless and irritated. Irritated at myself mostly, for not being able to feel the simple pleasure in Edward holding me to his smooth, hard chest. A flash of how very different it could be, how it could be all warmth with another heart beating in time with mine, left me sitting up with a gasp and curling my hands into fists of frustration.

"Bella! What's wrong?" Edward asked, concern taking over the previously content expression on his face.

I shook my head, unwilling to voice my uncertainty. It would hurt him too much. I couldn't do that to him.

_I can't hurt him now, but how much worse will it be if this change of mind lasts? If it lasts beyond tonight, beyond our wedding day, beyond the day that will change me and mark my last chance to ever choose otherwise?_

"Please," he asked, his topaz eyes searching mine.

"I love you," I said desperately, staring back and looking for the perfection that I no longer felt, waiting for it to slide back into place and save me from this sudden, insane confusion.

"I love you too... but why should that cause such panic?" he asked, attempting a light, teasing tone.

"I... don't know," I said lamely, my gaze dropping to my hands in my lap, still clenched into tight fists. His cold hands pulled my face up to look at him. His gaze flickered back and forth between my eyes until he let his hands drop, seeming dissatisfied with what he found.

"If you're having second thoughts about our marriage, we can postpone it. With Victoria out of the way, I see no reason to rush your immortality."

I shook my head again, but it was in vain. My thoughts were even more confused now.

"It's not the wedding I'm worried about-" He snorted, disbelief obvious in his expression. "Okay, so I am worried about that, but it's not just that. It's everything," I said, unable to say more.

He sat still as only a vampire can, becoming a statue before my eyes, before blinking slowly. "Everything?" he asked, his tone cautious.

"_Everything," _I clarified, wanting him to understand, yet hoping he wouldn't.

"You're worried about... us?" Time seemed to freeze.

_This is it_, I thought. _This is the moment of choice, the one that could change everything... the one that could _ruin_ everything._

"I'm worried about... my feelings. Not for you- not _just _for you at least, but for you and..." I was unable to finish.

"Your feelings for me, and your feelings for Jacob Black," he finished, his voice emotionless.

I hesitated. This was it. This would make or break my future.

I slowly nodded, the movement almost imperceptible, but only too easy to see with the heightened senses of a vampire.

"Bella, you... you know I want nothing but your happiness," he said, his voice breaking slightly, "But I had hoped... I had thought... Where did your resolve to be one of us vanish to? Your resolve to be with me, forever?"

I had done it again. Another heart broken. Great, that was _just _the sort of reputation I wanted. I never dated, never even _thought _about dating, until I got to Forks... yet here I was, breaking two hearts in one day.

I knew I couldn't remain silent forever. I had to explain myself. Maybe... Maybe I would figure out myself what I wanted, what I felt.

"Something in me changed today," I said. His mouth began to form a protest but I held up a hand, urging him to let me continue, let me find what I truly meant to say. "When I saw Jacob after the fight, I _knew _I wanted him in my life. I always knew that, sort of, you know? But it was different... Seeing him so badly hurt made me think about my future, about how he came so close to losing his, and about my potential futures, whether that be as a human or as a vampire." He made a move to interrupt again but I shook my head, unwilling to stop until I had reached a conclusion, whatever it may be. "I know, you _want _me to stay human, to grow old while you stay young. I believe you, you know, that you'd love me just the same. Before the... the time you were gone-" my voice broke here, but I blundered on, "it never occurred to me to consider another future. It may have eventually happened, if I hadn't gone with Alice to Voltera, if my actions hadn't necessitated that... I'm not sure, but now it's happened. I... I _want _that future. I've never liked grand gestures or fancy things. I've never felt like I deserved them, or that they fit me. Just, somehow, all of a sudden I don't feel like I fit in your world. Looking at my possibilities, looking at where I could be in the future... I don't see myself in big houses with expensive clothes and foreign cars. I see myself living simply, I guess. Simple, and normal, and _human,_ but... happy. Content, I guess. Content in humanity and... with someone who is still more human himself."

He was completely still now, so that I was no longer even sure of whether he was listening to me. "I think I'd be happy with you..." This was it. This was the conditional ending to the proposition, the logical ending that would crush Edward and any chance of a future with him forever. "...but I _know_ I'd be happy with Jake." As I said it, I knew it was true. I had reached my conclusion, one I hadn't even known for sure that I intended to make, but I could feel the truth of it with every fiber of my being.

He stood then, in one of those movements that was too fast for my human eyes to process, his face an expressionless mask. I scrambled to stand too, reaching out to him, knowing I had to let him go but irrationally unable to do so.

"Bella," he said, his voice oddly warm. "Bella, Bella, Bella..." he said it as though he were scolding me, chiding me for some pardonable slight rather than a life-shattering blow. "All I've ever wanted is your happiness," he repeated. He stepped forward and in a heartrending gesture tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear, smiling with what I could somehow tell was a false contentment. "If your happiness, your future, lies with him... I will leave you to him. I won't fight this, not if it will hurt you... not if it will cause you pain. But know this," a sudden fierceness entered his tone, almost scaring me with the earnestness, "if ever he missteps, if ever he hurts you, emotionally or physically, I will be there. I will be there to help you, to heal you, and most importantly, to _love_ you." A tear slid down my cheek as he cupped my face, staring into my eyes with unfathomable depth and emotion. "I will always love you," he whispered. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead, and before I could even feel that the cold press of his lips was no longer there, he was gone.

I ran to the window, tears now flowing freely, and called out to him in a whisper that was more a cry of desperation.

But he didn't come back.

He was gone. Truly, completely, utterly gone. Despite his contradictory words, I knew he was lost to me forever.

I collapsed on the floor of my bedroom and sobbed, clutching my once hole-riddled torso. I mourned the loss of Edward, all the while wondering idly why the gaping chasm of loss hadn't made itself known this time. Why, through the heartbreak and loss, I still felt whole, and irrationally hopeful. In short, I felt awful because I felt free.


	2. Chapter 2

**Yay for reviews! According to the stats page, the first chapter got 77 hits =D I replied to all 3 reviews, and will continue to do so. I really appreciate the feedback and I love that you guys are loving this. Like I said, this is my first Twilight story, so it means a lot to me that you all enjoy it. I hope you like this chapter just as much and that the sort of "twist" I put in isn't too much. Let me know what you think! **

**I'm going to try to update this once a week. I've got most of the 3rd chapter written already, with plenty of ideas of where this story will go. Right now the genres are romance and drama, but my usual writing style is humor so as things settle down a little I'm hoping to lean more towards that. Bella's a pretty dramatic character though, so we'll see if she lets me.**

**Btw. I don't own the Twilight characters, obviously. I just play with them 8D**

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The next morning, after a sleepless night, I made my way downstairs as early as I could without causing too much suspicion for Charlie. "Morning Bells," he said, not looking up from his cup of coffee.

I muttered a "good morning" back and began to prepare breakfast for the two of us, a process that I could perform without much thought. I went through the motions like a robot, with the practiced movements of someone without such weights on their conscience like I had. I strove for normalcy, for some sense that I hadn't completely ruined my future in one careless decision.

When I finally sat down across from my father, I barely noticed the anxious glances he sent my way. "Worried about Jake?" he asked, taking a sip of coffee and watching my expression carefully.

I froze for a moment and held back a sob. I nodded but it was too jerky, not nearly the unaffected motion I was going for.

"Bells, he's not that bad off, and Dr. Cullen is taking good care of him," he assured me. That was it. I felt the tears coming and I buried my face in my hands. Charlies reassurance despite his ignorance of the real reason Jake was hurt, his reassurance that wasn't anywhere near consoling the true hurt I felt, was too much.

Before he could ask, I gasped out, "I think I broke up with Edward." This time it was Charlie that froze, his hand paused on its way to give me some sort of reassuring gesture.

"What? Why? I thought... Well I mean, I can't say I'm disappointed really, but I thought you were sort of... _crazy _for the guy?" he asked, his tone showing how conflicted he was on the issue and how uncomfortable he was with the topic.

"I don't know!" I exclaimed, swiping away my tears angrily. "I don't think... I just... Jake..."

Recognition flickered across his features, and I could tell he was fighting a smirk. "Bella, you're 18 years old, you're allowed to play the field a little, y'know?"

I shook my head, sniffling. "I don't like this," I said simply. I choked back another sob, not wanting to burden Charlie with my confusion and heartbreak.

"Nobody likes a break up," he said, his hand coming to rest on my shoulder and squeezing gently. "Sometimes though, you have to slow down and figure out what, or who, is really right for you," he finished awkwardly.

I blinked, the tears stopping as suddenly as they had come. Slow down. I had to slow down. Edward wanted forever now, and Jacob wanted forever as forever came to pass. Their love for me was as different as a whirlwind and a clear, sunny day. One came and went so suddenly that you couldn't quite grasp the chaos of it until too late, and the other coming on so gradually that you were warmed and content before having a chance to realize how easily and simply perfect it was.

I nodded slowly and sniffed again, suddenly embarrassed by my outburst. "Thanks, dad," I murmured, keeping my gaze focused on the plate in front of me.

"Any time," he replied, then cleared his throat as if it would clear the awkwardness from the air. I could've sworn I heard him mutter something about "teenagers", "women", and "crazy".

As soon as breakfast was finished and the dishes were washed, I escaped upstairs to my room and began pacing. I needed to clear my thoughts. I hated the uncertainty I was still feeling. I had rejected Edward, tossed aside the love that he had so effortlessly and completely given to me, in favor of Jacob... but I still didn't feel that things were right. I needed to make a decision, or plan a course of action... _something _to put myself on a path that felt right.

Finally, although it was what I'd been struggling to ignore all along as the only solution, I decided to go visit Jake again. I knew the only way to be sure whether or not my spontaneous, but life-changing, decision last night was right or wrong was to confront Jacob head on, to see if I still felt the love I'd felt the day before as completely. I could only hope for my own mental well-being that I did.

I very slowly and deliberately went through the process of getting ready. I took a hot shower, brushed out my long hair carefully, and stood for entirely too long in front of my closet to find something to wear. Finally, exasperated with my own procrastination, I threw on a random outfit and made my way out to sit in my truck.

Eventually I felt ready, appearance-wise at least, to make the trip that might possibly set me on course. My heart thudded uncomfortably fast in my chest as I started the old truck on its rumbling journey.

The moment I pulled up in front of Jacob's house, I very nearly turned right around and drove back home. In the driveway was Carlisle's sleek black car, taunting me with its presence. I took slow, deep breaths, reminding myself that Carlisle had a perfect track record as far as killing humans went, and unclenched my fists from the steering wheel. I felt shaky and nervous, unsure of what his reaction would be to me after I'd ripped out his son's heart just a few hours before.

When I knocked on the door, Billy opened it and smiled at me. I could see in that smile that Jake was doing well, and I couldn't help but smile back. "Hey Billy, I came to see Jake again."

"Of course," he said, grinning at me. "He's been a little anxious to see you again," he said, gauging my reaction.

I fought to keep my face relaxed, but knew at least a little of my tension leaked through. "Me too," was all I could muster up as a response.

I walked through the house and paused at the doorway to Jacob's bedroom, hearing his voice along with Carlisle's, conversing lightly. It was such a 180 from the way things had been not long ago, with the werewolves ready to jump at the chance to fight the vampires. At least one vampire had broken through their disgust and gained a place of respect amongst them, and of course it was the selfless Dr. Cullen.

I knew I couldn't hide long, and started when I realized they would know I was here already. _Damn super human senses,_ I thought.

I finally turned the corner and peered in. Jacob's eyes lit up a bit when he saw me, but I could still see the hesitance in them. He didn't want to build himself up for more disappointment, and it broke my heart a little to know I'd hurt him enough to cause this reaction. Carlisle turned and I waited for the accusation in his eyes, for the condemnation that was sure to come.

But it never came. Carlisle gave me a kind, reassuring smile. "Come on in, Bella. I'm just about done here anyway," he said gently, motioning for me to join them. I walked into the room slowly, coming to a stop at the end of Jake's bed. Carlisle seemed to be packing up a bag of medical supplies, but was quickly done. The room was tensely quiet as he turned to leave, but not before stopping by my side and whispering into my ear, "No one blames you."

My mouth dropped open slightly and I could only stare after him silently as he left. Jacob called a quick goodbye as the doctor left, then turned to me. He raised an eyebrow questioningly and asked, "What did he mean?"

Of course Jacob heard him. Again I mentally cursed the fact that I was surrounded by people whose capabilities were far beyond my mundane human self, and sat down in a chair that had been placed next to Jacob's bed.

"I... sort of... broke up with Edward last night," I said, watching his face carefully. Calling it a break up felt so wrong, so childish and inappropriately light. It was so much more than that. I had broken _him_, as well as part of myself.

A plethora of emotions crossed his features so fast that I barely registered them all. Confusion, contemplation, realization, disbelief, hope, then finally settling on incredulous happiness.

"You mean... for good?" he asked. He tried to remain aloof, but I could hear the unadulterated optimism. I nodded, unable to keep my own smile hidden away.

He moved too quickly, trying to sit up and reach out for me, and cursed loudly as his healing injuries sent pain through his right side. He gritted his teeth and managed to spit out, "Does this mean what I think it means?" He didn't want to believe that it could be true. He didn't want me to give him this ray of hope, just to pull the rug out from under him yet again.

"I'm not sure yet," I said, feeling terrible that I couldn't assure him as much as I wanted. Before he could look too crestfallen, before I could see his heart break yet again because of my careless words and actions, I continued, "But I think so. I want to try. I want... I want _you, _Jake."

The smile that graced his features was like the sunniest day, full of warmth and light. He reached out then, not moving so much that he tweaked his injuries, and took my hand in his. He stroked the back of my hand with his thumb, his overly warm skin heating mine quickly and causing ripples of electricity to shoot up my arm that made my heart flutter.

Very purposefully, his eyes never leaving mine, he squeezed my hand.

"You've got me, Bells. All of me."

In that moment, I felt it. The shift I had been waiting for. The shift of certainty that had slipped from my grasp so disastrously the day before had happened again, but this time it felt as though the universe had moved back into place. My heart skipped a beat and I smiled at Jacob, holding back tears of happiness. None of my earlier guilt could ruin this moment. Hesitantly, but knowing it was true, I lowered my eyes to gaze at my hand that was so utterly engulfed by his enormous one. "That... that's all I want," I whispered, feeling as though the moment would be lost if I spoke too loudly. "Just you. You're the one I choose." I said this last part more to myself than him, squeezing his hand as he had done to mine just a moment before.

"Bella..." he said, and I looked up to meet his eyes.

Something happened then. I recognized Jacob having a shift of his own, behind his eyes. They went out of focus for a moment, but when it was over they honed in on me with a new fierceness that I couldn't quite grasp. I gasped slightly with the intensity of his gaze.

Jacob blinked a few times, looking confused.

"What's wrong?" I asked, scooting closer to him and holding his hand in both of mine.

"I think... but it's not possible," he said, his voice breathless.

"What?" I asked, somewhat frantic now. I could feel some sort of... desperation, or change, or _something_ that I couldn't quite put my finger on. "What happened?"

He pulled me then by my hands so that, to continue holding his, I had to move to the bed and sit by his side. He sat up some, grimacing slightly as he jostled his injured side, but leaned forward and stroked my cheek with his free hand.

"I think I just imprinted on you, Bella."

I froze. "Imprinted?" I asked, my eyes searching his for any sign of deception. "But I thought that happened at first sight after changing. We've seen each other plenty of times before this."

He nodded, his dark eyes completely earnest as he said, "I know. That's how it works, or at least that's how it's _supposed _to work. But... I can't even explain it. I've seen what it's like from Sam and Jared's memories... and that's how it felt just now. Like every tie I had to the world, every reason I had for living, suddenly disappeared... and refocused on you. You're my reason for living, Bella, my reason for _existing._"

My heart was going a mile a minute now, disbelief painting my features. "You're sure?" I asked breathlessly.

He nodded then and pulled me against his chest. "I've never been surer of anything," he muttered into my hair.

Part of me wanted to hold back. A very tiny part of me, one in the back of my mind, that insisted I shouldn't be happy because I had hurt Edward. I ignored it. I wrapped my arms as best I could around Jacob's torso with the way he was sitting, trying to avoid hurting him. I breathed in deeply, and as I exhaled, all of the tension and doubt that still tried to linger in my mind drifted away. He nuzzled my hair, holding me tight against him, then placed a soft kiss on the top of my head.

Less than an hour later, I found myself sitting next to Jacob on his bed with Sam sitting in the chair I had previously occupied. Jacob had my hand firmly in his and had just explained that he'd imprinted on me. _Imprinted._ It sounded so strange, especially knowing it had to be impossible.

Sam's brow was furrowed in concentration, trying to figure it out himself. "There's not a whole lot in our histories to tell us about the whole imprinting thing but... I mean, with me and Jared, it was the first time we saw Emily and Kim. It wasn't like... weeks later." He scratched his head. "Did something change?"

Jake shook his head, but I nodded. Sam looked at me questioningly.

"I... I guess, I told Jake I was choosing him. Over Edward." I swallowed thickly. Despite my certainty that I wanted Jacob, it still didn't feel right to say.

Sam nodded, fiddling with the fringe of a rip in his jean shorts. "Maybe that did it," he said somewhat quietly. "I mean, with the rest of us, it was a matter of us changing. I guess, maybe... maybe you two had that connection as a possibility, but there was some other possibility?" He didn't seem to really understand it himself, but he shrugged. "Maybe you had two potential girls you could've imprinted on, and it was just a matter of Bella making this choice," he said, meeting Jake's eyes. It was Jacob's turn to shrug now.

"I don't really get it either, but..." he trailed off, staring at me and searching for something. I met his gaze and felt my heart flutter for the millionth time since I'd come to see him this morning.

Sam laughed abruptly, breaking the moment. "You definitely look like you're imprinted," he said, grinning widely. "At least, I've got that somewhat nauseous feeling looking at the two of you that the guys say they get when I'm with Emily..." He smirked and raised a hand to effortlessly catch the pillow that Jake had launched at his face. "Nice throw, King Tut," he said, staring pointedly at Jacob's bandages. "When does Dr. Cullen say you'll be up and about anyway?"

"Soon," said Jacob, "and you've definitely been spending too much time with Quil and Embry." Sam gave us a toothy grin and I couldn't help but smile back at the easy atmosphere that seemed to have overtaken us. _This is how it'll be with Jake,_ I thought. _Easy. As easy as breathing._

We all turned to the door as Billy made an appearance, clearing his throat pointedly. "Not to break up the party, but I think the kid does need some rest to make sure he finishes healing." Sam and I both nodded, standing at once. Jake's grasp on my hand tightened so that I was nearly pulled back down to the bed. I raised an eyebrow but couldn't keep the pleased smile off my face.

"I'll come back tomorrow," I said, bringing his hand up close to my face. I had the urge to kiss his hand, to seal the promise, but was only too aware of the watchful eyes of Billy and Sam.

"You better," Jake said, his normal joking tone apparent but with a hint of the new urgency to be near his imprint showing through.

I squeezed his hand and then sat it back down next to him, giving him a playful poke in the side. He pretended to be hurt and "swooned" back against his pillow. I laughed and said, "See ya, Jake." I hesitated, not _really _wanting to leave his side yet. It was like the new connection went both ways.

He waved me off, smiling, and said, "Sure, sure."

Finally I tore myself away to make my way out. Billy gave me a knowing smirk as I said my goodbyes to him as well and I followed Sam outside. I was almost to my truck when I realized he had followed me and was standing by the front fender, eyeing me curiously.

"Sam?" I asked, pausing with my hand on the door handle.

"You're sure about this? About leaving the leech?" he asked. I stared back at him in shock at the barely concealed aggression in his tone. "Because now, if you leave him... it will hurt him deeper than you know. Deeper than you can understand."

I could see the devotion to his pack brother written clearly in Sam's eyes. I paused for a moment, searching for the right words to soothe his worries.

"I would be lying if I said that there wasn't at least a small part of me that still wants Edward..." Sam growled a little at that but I held up my hands to placate him and continued. "But I realized yesterday, when I saw Jake lying in bed..." I broke off here, my chest constricting painfully as I remembered how he looked. "When I saw him hurt, _really _hurt, all to protect me... It was... It was like this flash of potential went through me. What my future could be with Jacob, versus what my future would be like with Edward. Suddenly, the second one didn't seem right anymore. I knew that... that, having almost lost Jake once, I couldn't handle it again. I know for sure now that I have to have him in my life, and that he has more of my heart than... than I ever realized..." I trailed off, staring at the ground and letting out a shuddering breath. It hadn't even been 24 hours since my big "revelation" to myself, but I felt like I had aged 10 years.

When I finally looked up, Sam was giving me a calculating look. He took in my hands, wringing together in front of me out of anxiety for Jacob's injuries, and my eyes, shinier than they should be from holding back tears. "Okay," he said softly, reassuringly. "I just wanted to be sure." In a sudden and unexpected move of understanding, he closed the distance between us and placed his hand on my shoulder. I looked up into his eyes, the eyes of the Alpha, and felt some of the weight of a burden I hadn't realized I'd been carrying disappear. I smiled up at him and he smiled back, squeezing my shoulder lightly, then patting my head for good measure. "Be good to him, yeah?" he said, before turning and making his way to the woods, already preparing himself to change.

"I will," I said back quietly. I wasn't sure if he heard me, but it was a promise to myself, one that I _had _to keep.


End file.
